THE SPAGHETTI CAT

The freaks come out at night. They glom onto your elbow, disrupt your conversations and worst of all, they freeze out the real hot prospects.

…which of course is a perfect time to look at the original “Jizz in my Pants” video by Lonely Island:

Which one gets your vote?

In an interview with Christianity Today, Joe “the Plumber” Wurzelbacher had some choice opinions on homosexuals (emphasis mine):

Q: In the last month, same-sex marriage has become legal in Iowa and Vermont. What do you think about same-sex marriage at a state level?
A: At a state level, it’s up to them. I don’t want it to be a federal thing. I personally still think it’s wrong. People don’t understand the dictionary—it’s called queer. Queer means strange and unusual. It’s not like a slur, like you would call a white person a honky or something like that. You know, God is pretty explicit in what we’re supposed to do—what man and woman are for. Now, at the same time, we’re supposed to love everybody and accept people, and preach against the sins. I’ve had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn’t have them anywhere near my children. But at the same time, they’re people, and they’re going to do their thing.

Not a slur? Really? Come on, Joe. You wouldn’t call a black guy the n-word to his face, would you? Run for your lives, kids, QUEERS!

Excuse me, your myopic and ignorant worldview is showing, jackass.

This is not my video, it’s one I came across tonight while checking out a video someone sent me. So I don’t approve of the opening title really but I could understand someone’s frustration in trying to figure out just what the fuck is going on with this chick and her pose.

This is either the most incredibly brilliant idea by anyone ever, or this chick is terribly self-obsessed. Not sure what to make of it, but it actually made me crack up until about halfway the nearly 2 minute long segment. And that was the incredible part about it: I couldn’t figure out if I’d wasted my life on some chick’s obsession with herself, or whether I’d just witnessed 2 minutes of pure genius. You be the judge:

Fresh out of getting his tongue practically bit off, Vince Shlomi is back on the scene and dropping his new mega-hit club track, Rap Chop.

He went from this:

To this:

THE SPAGHETTI CAT predicts that “Watch this, you’re gonna love my nuts” will become the catchphrase of 2009.

This one almost wants to write itself: Speidi, the Swine Flu, and an epic Mexican honeymoon.

Hey, how’s that honeymoon treating you two? What’s that? I can’t hear you, your voice is muffled behind the mask you’re wearing half naked, strolling on the beach in the sun! Talk about weird tan lines…

Thanks for posing for this photo-op with the masks on like a true couple of jackasses. At least there’s one thing we know you’re not fake about: your fear of contracting an awful, potentially fatal virus.

On the bright side, now at least we don’t have to see Spencer’s creepy flesh colored beard.

Special thanks to dlisted.com for the photo.

Update 1: I prefer the word jackass.